Kenyan Heros

The lay under the foreign sun
Beneath the scorching sun
Their mourns echoing in the desolate valley
All waiting to breathe their last

Away went the smoking guns
Bobbling up and down on the herders back
Desperate tears and heart felt pleas
Of broken fathers and scared sons
Bounced off on a hardened heat

There they lay
Knowing death was certain
But still hoping for a chance
To say I'm sorry
To say I care
To say thank you
To say good bye

On foreign soil their blood seeped
They died for their country
Alone in a forsaken valley

HOW?

Anger is all i feel

Pure searing anger

How can you say llife is fair?

How can you ask me to hold on to my pride

How?

I have none left

How can I?

He danced while I cried

He swirled and turned in merriment

When I was sniffing and blowing my nose sore

I stayed awake weeping

He was awake chasing Njeri Chebet and Awuor

I remained faithful to the end

He was faithful to being a mans man

How can you ask me to let it go?

How?

Anger is all i feel

When I remember how stupid my innocence was

When I remember how loyal I was

I feel stupid thinking how pathetic I seemed

To all his friends who new 

Ignorance is not bliss

How can can it be?

How?

How can you say life is fair 

When he gallops away into the sunset

And disappears into the horizon of domestic bliss

While  I am left picking pieces of myself

Still wondering how a person can be so heartless

And yet you say life is fair

How?

Where is karma when you need it?

Marriage

It was meant to be a victory
But all this is a mockery
What happened to the bravery
They promised a tantalizing mystery
It all turned out to be misery

It all starts with the promises
then the betrayals in the premises
not even sparing the offices
It was all written on the notices

They laugh at the brokeness
They say its the stupid innocence
They claim all the naughtiness
Is just a part of the business

Its not for all this marriage
Neither is it for weak hearts this carriage
It demands only courage
Not a soul with a bandage
Otherwise it only be bondage

posted from Bloggeroid

Cycle of life

As sure as the sun rises,
So will it set
As sure as we were born,
So shall we die
As sure as we laugh
So shall we cry
As sure as we dance
So shall we mourn
As sure as we meet
So shall we part
Its all part of nature

posted from Bloggeroid

Cycle of life

As sure as the sun rises,
So will it set
As sure as we were born,
So shall we die
As sure as we laugh
So shall we cry
As sure as we dance
So shall we mourn
As sure as we meet
So shall we part
Its all part of nature

posted from Bloggeroid

A Little Too Late?

There is an African saying that says a dying ear will not be healed despite all sorts of medication. It is true in my case. And in many other peoples lives; at least I am finally brave enough to admit the ugly truth.

How many times have I been down this road? How many times have I vowed that what was going to be the last time? For how long will I let myself down?

Its my fourth time in he hospital. My face filled with bruises and my bedsisde table filled with fresh, brightly colored roses bursting with life and tons of get well cards.

I am in a private room of course with a sign reading no visitors allowed because you see my husband is a respected man in the society. No one must know. He is the golden man. Handsome and filled with charisma. He emits power and respect that makes everyone who stands before him want to stand stairghter and to always refer to him as Mister or Mkubwa. I am of course the regal poised wife who always smiles politely and makes every woman wish to be me.

At least this time I managed to let my sister know where I was. Lonliness can be too much sometimes that I would rather have my sister tell me I told you so than to stare at the blinding white of the hospital walls keeping me captive.

I tell myself that I dont know how things got bad or what changed but deep down I know its a lie. I know exactly what happened. I was not blind; I just chose to look the other way. I didn't want to be the fool who let the man with great potential go. I was momentarily blinded by stupid hope for a happy ever after where the frog turns into a fine prince after seeing the errors of his ways and whisks my away into a golden sunset. 

It all started by a remark that seemed harmless, then an insult followed by lavish gifts. Time came with money, prosperity and of course arrogance and the rest was history.

I knew I was in trouble but how could I leave when he was running for office? Then I was the lady besides mheshimiwa. Another name for a puppet. "How can you leave mheshimiwa?" They say. "You have everything. Stop whining and count your blessings" Well my blessings landed me here with more than a broken bone and no self worth.

I blame myself. I was warned more than once but I was too head strong. You see I was in love. The roses, the gifts and the sweet words made things a little confusing.Its been years; almost half of my life gone like dew before the morning sun. I have forgoten how to laugh and how to live. I hope its not too late for me to pick up the little pieces that are still left.

PURE LOVE

I see him and my heart melts
His smile makes my feet shake
The sound of his voice makes my insides feel warm
And a touch  of his hand makes me feel loved
If this is not love
Then I dont know what love is

He holds his hand in mine with pride
And his eyes light up with joy when am in sight
He seeks me out for comfort
Just as he does when hurt and needs help
Wouldn't you say this is love?

I hold his head on my chest
As he falls asleep every evening
He sights in his sleep
And I know that he too is contented
I know he loves me too

So go to sleep little nephew of mine
Aunty is watching over you

I Give Up

I give up
Yes
I give up
I raise my hands in surrender
And admit I that I cannot do it anymore
I am not weak
Oh no am not
But I give up
Just because I realize
That I am actually stronger
Stronger than those jeering faces
Those prejudiced voices
Trying to make me conform
I give up trying to fit in
Because I am different
And different is okay
I give up
Yes I give up
And I am not going to hang my head I shame
Just because I accept that I am different
And different is not wrong

Dance of The Dead

I dance on this grave with mirth
I sing with glee as i twist and turn
I have never been this merry
You may say I am cold
I will say you are right
Because it's true
Beneath the soil am dancing on
Is the old me
The old me full of stupid ignorance
Along with my warm heart
Buried deep down the soil
The old me that was killed by the society
Expecting too much from me
Now am happy
Dancing around with my cold heart
That cares nothing of the hypocritical society
That killed the good old me.

posted from Bloggeroid

Ashamed to be Kenyan

Will I be painted a traitor when I say I am no longer proud to be a Kenyan? 

Will I be labeled a whites man groupie when i say id rather go away to the white mans land?

What will you call me when I say all I think of is the other world depicted as Canaan 

Far away from this God forsaken Egypt?

Call me a traitor I say again

But every time  I close my eyes i see i dream of smooth roads

I dream of my little son playing in a colorful gym as i look on

I dream of a life 

where my hard work pays off fairly

Not where the boss takes what is rightfully yours

I long for a government that will take care of its retirees

Who contributed to the fund only to be left out in the cold

I long for a government 

Which will let my taxes work for me

Not one that makes me pay tax for the litattle chicken i keep

For that visitor who drops in unannounced

Or for my children during the festive season

I am ashamed of my government

I ashamed of my leaders

I am proud to be Kenyan,

But am not proud to be this kind of  Kenyan

Mraia

she walks and swings

her wares on her woven head

her skin is dark

her lips are thick with a natural pout

she ties her kanga but bares her breast

and ahead she forges

they call her mraia,

i call her super woman 

she tends her goats and cooks the meals

its in the hot dessert sun but she does it all

they say she is backward

i admire her resilience

while we have all transformed

to the white man's way

she keeps strong 

with her fat from the goats

and traditional body markings

she weaves her house and weaves her beads

she walks with pride and holds her head high

I and I

l took a chance I took  wrong turn,

I made a choice I picked the wrong side

I said I lacked courage I know I lied

I wonder sometimes if I did right

Most of the times I hope i never find out

I gaze ahead my eyes are glazed

I see nothing there is a haze blocking my sight

I dream I wish I hope

I am afraid to reach out

I might and yet grasp nothing

I wonder I am scared

I know it could be that day

It could be that day I dread

I hope its not

I know its coming

I know I will never be ready